word #4

food

i've been listening to a mix from a friend for the past few days. to say i'm starting to get obsessed with it would be a shadow of the truth. it makes such a great soundtrack for my days. tonight i sat in my car in the church parking lot, making myself feel the ache between the orange and the blue of a too-late sunset, that place where the blue is too white to be blue and the orange is too yellow to be seen.

i always hate the place of uncertainty; the place of "no good word." today, it was the inability to describe my bleeding filet from friday night. i wanted to impress the excellence of my meal on someone else. he said, "if you became a food critic, you'd have to expand your vocabulary." and I know he's right. there are minutes that i sit, swirling my surroundings around, trying to describe the flavor. I always want words of import and impact. sometimes they come. sometimes they fade under the wake of the sun. they slide off the horizon and the blue crushes in. tomorrow, it's a new start, a new chance to peel the colors from each other and describe the lonely places in between.

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